The Best Chickpea Salad EVER

It's been said many times before, but I just moved and am in the slow process of stocking a kitchen.

On this particular night, I got home late and needed to make a lunch to last the next couple of days.
In this situation, my go to is chick pea salad, it's good, it's easy, it turns into an "everything but the kitchen sink" salad very easily. Basically chick pea salad cures all that ails you.

So I start raiding the fridge, I chop veges, I find some craisens, this is going to be best chickpea salad ever. Everything goes into the bowl and I find some farmers market kale I need to use. Yes! I'm in a good place.
I pull out the cans of chickpeas and start to look for my can opener.
And then I realize that I never bought a can opener....

No problem, I was a girl scout, I can figure this out and nothing, I repeat,  NOTHING is going to stand in the way of "The best chickpea salad ever."
So I dig, I'm looking for a pocket knife, anything that will help me free these tiny beans from their tin cage.
And the only implement I can track down is a cheap wine bottle opener.
In my chickpea crazed haze, I figure, this has a sharp end, easy-peasy.

Not so much.

It took 30 minutes to open one can.
I had blisters on my soft middle-class hands for days.
And I ruined the corkscrew.

I'm this serious about chickpeas. 

It's worth noting- there is a 24 hour CVS within 2 blocks of my apartment.
Chickpea crazy thought that this way would be faster.
Never again.


Basic Chickpea Salad's (tried and true by me)
1 can chickpeas- drained (best bets are Progresso, Bush and Goya)
2 Tbsp fresh basil- chopped
2 Tbsp fresh parsley- chopped
2 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
4 tsp olive oil
1/3 c Parmesan Cheese- grated
salt to taste

Variations:
This is a really good "everything but the kitchen sink" salad. Throw it all in, it'll be fine.
Seriously- kale, green onions, mushrooms, black beans, frozen veges, dried fruit, cheese, green onions, feta, olives, artichoke hearts...you get the picture.
Curried chickpea salad- omit the cheese, add in shredded carrots, craisens and curry powder.

One more reason why you should make this right now:
Chickpeas are very very tasty vessels for Siracha.
Sold.

Music to accompany your chickpea/destroying cans/corkscrews experience:
I've listened to Chad VanGaalen newest, Diaper Island (NSFW), a couple of times now and I really can't make up my mind. It's not pretty, it's gritty and honest, which I appreciate, but I have to be in a very specific mood to be able to sit down and listen, i.e. breaking a corkscrew to open a dumb can kind of mood.